We spend our early years going to school and then mostly being groomed for college or some sort of career out of necessity with a family business, supporting family, or providing for a family of your own. But do we ever really sit down and accept that life is short and what is it truly about? Family? Money? Love? Friends? Career? Success? Parties? Experience?
I ask you, are you seeking out what you truly want, are you settling, or are you always searching for more? Perhaps we never really figure out what we really want but as long as we surround ourselves with people we care about, people whom are filled with love and life, and share with others then maybe that is what it’s all about. I don’t know.
I find myself in a constant circle of questions, lack of satisfaction, and need to incessantly feel unrest. I used to think it was A.D.D that teachers failed to diagnose me with which would have greatly helped with how badly I wanted more time to finish tests. I always wrote more than necessary. I like to call it elaboration or proof that I knew what the hell I was talking about except I’d forgotten the short answer. Teachers often thought simply I hadn’t studied as hard as I should have. On the other hand, it all could be due to the intense pressures of sports from a young age as a pitcher, point guard, and setter that I’d constantly been pigeonholed into which distinctly tied into a leadership position that was more stressful than most kids usually handle. Sure, I’ve always loved the encouragement and feeling of elation when you do well but it was always about the team doing well. If I did poorly, I let my team down.
It’s an interesting turn of events when you end up in college living selfishly and graduate wondering what’s next. You only let yourself down and maybe your parents if it’s of your concern anymore. In any case, the pressures of the real world and becoming an adult with responsibilities and desire for a family of your own and career path you enjoy holds a heavy weight on one’s shoulders.
I just want to yell RELAX but it’s never that easy. When do you get to take a deep breath and feel like you’ve succeeded? What does that even mean? Perhaps when you feel safe about how much money you have saved up so you can live off of it and not work as hard or retire? Or maybe when you have a job you enjoy and you’ve accomplished your goals of reaching the top or the position you desire? Or rather you find your life partner sharing love and happiness? And with that perhaps it is the bearing of children to whom you can pass on your knowledge, love and share happiness with?
Perhaps we’ll only know some of these answers or maybe most but it’s all simply a puzzle I look forward to putting together with the continuous need to explore and without sitting still. How can you just wait for life to pass you by?!
About Me
- JStew
- Once upon a time a short blonde from Nashville, TN moved to la la land to work in feature films. Little did she know she'd do just that but end up leaving film and tv production six years later to start a new career in librarianship across the country. That's right, she not only lived among celebrity royalty reaping the benefits of expensive swag and cashing in on long hours because you have no life when you work up to 16 hours a day or more depending on the show. But after a great deal of thought, "putting out fires," as that's more or less what a soon to be Producer does, was becoming a thing of the past and facilitating young members in a community with digital literacy was to become a part of the future. Thus, from Los Angeles to New York, no not the city but the western part of the state, I am in the process of obtaining a masters in Library Science: School Media which means I will be a librarian in a K-12 or academic university setting if I am so lucky. And just maybe, "peut-etre" I'll become a published writer with all the free time I'll have. Here's hoping a new city, new people, and new adventures will bring more entertaining subjects to capture.